As I said in the very first blog, this process is going to be a day by day event. I won't say this has been a good week, in fact it's had many more downs that ups. Luckily the week ended on a high note. I'm not sure what happened over the last 24 hours, but even Chris commented that Skye seems like a different person, and Forrest isn't a cranky little beast. I will say that for me I went to bed at 8:00 last night, and slept until Forrest awoke at 6:30 - well I actually got up at 3:30 to hold & nurse Forrest through a bad dream. I feel like a different person. Skye also wasn't challenging me as much as the days prior. Maybe it's that I have a appointment with my social worker to process all of this, maybe it's that my unemployment has finally been figured out, maybe it's that I acknowledged that I'm bummed I didn't go back to work this year (or more importantly I lost a job that I really liked). Frankly I think it's a mix of everything.

I didn't post a really wonderful thing from the other day b/c with all the hard stuff, the good gets lost in the mix. I have to remind myself that it's the positive stuff that's the saving grace, and the nastiness will be the moving through stuff. Anyway, I was in the kitchen doing something (probably dishes!) and I hear Forrest squealing and laughing, I look over and both boys are lying on the floor by the back door and Skye is tickling Forrest. They are both laughing up a storm and acting like brothers. I almost cried, but instead I cracked up right along with them. Of course as all 2 year olds do he pushed it too far and put Forrest into a head lock and sent him off crying, but it was one of those moments that gives me hope. The other amazing thing that has happened this week was at the block party. I didn't witness this, but it was reported to me by Chris and about 3 other neighbors. Forrest was upset about something while my neighbor Chris was holding him - can I just say that he is the best human with children I've ever met, too bad he's gay, he'd of been the best of dads! My Chris went over to him, at the same time Skye showed up with Forrest's water bottle. Without being asked, or even talked to, he heard his brother crying, found his water bottle and brought it to him. These are the precious moments that I hold on to when the days are bleak. There is such a kind, sweet, compassionate little boy in there. I feel so grateful when he comes out and says hi.

This is definitely a work in progress. I feel so lucky and taken care of by my friends and teammates. We have consistently had dinner brought to us every other night since Skye's arrival. My mom has come once a week and hung with Forrest so I can spend time with Skye. I just want to acknowledge all these people, because without them I know I wouldn't make it through this process:
Silvia - for organizing food, being a rock solid teammate, and always being there
Daniela - my friend, my confidant, my old punk buddy
Abi - who brought us the best dinner, including wine & dessert!
Peg - brought enough food for 3 dinners, wow
Tai - who signed up for 3 dinners almost in a row as school was starting
Anna B - not only for the wonderful dinner, but the frequent flier miles that got Chris to guatemala for free, and first class no less!
Amy - my neighbor who is becoming a friend and is such an inspiration with her 4 children, it gives me hope that I can handle 2.
Sandy (and Nancy) - who just keep coming by with food on random occasions b/c they have it, and it is soooooo good!
Julia - for such great spanikopita and friendship that is boundless
Rachel - your enchiladas were great, and your friendship is even better
Nong - not only is Calvin one of the cutest babies I know, this woman can cook! Her corn cakes have become a main stay in our household.
KK & SaSa & Isaac - dinner with you was so great, we love your calmness in parenting and our very long friendship
Tabitha - for food, friendship, mama-hood together, and all that other stuff. you rock sista!
Momza - you keep coming over and Forrest is finally not crying. I am so grateful for the time you take with your grandson so I can work with the other. I may not say it enough, but I love you tons!

There are other folks through the rest of the month, but these folks have been there so far. Can't wait to go see our friends Scott, Jamie, Natalya, & Tristan on Sunday. They've got a farm out in Oregon City and we are going to hang out there and have dinner. I miss having them as neighbors, but I gotta say our new 'hood is okay.

Okay gonna go watch tv with the hubby and take a moment.