this is spanish for I love you. I always say this to Skye, about a million times a day. Today in the bath he was goofing around for his dad, I looked at him and said "te quiero" he looked back at me and said "te quiero". This is the first time he's told either Chris or I that he loves us. A big day in our home.
On other good news, Forrest has suddenly started boogie dancing again today. It was something he did all the time as a little one in our laps, holding his hand, and suddenly today out of no where the boogie started up again.
my boys are amazing...
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
Giving Thanks
So sorry it has been so long between posts, but this is a busy season, and I was down with some strain of some sort of flu. It was less than wonderful, but I seem to be on the mend.
What an amazing thanksgiving we had, even if it was a non-Thanksgiving in the eyes of a traditionalist. We were supposed to go to Grandma Foxley's house (my mom) for dinner, but Wednesday I went down for the count with an awful GI flu, that I'm still working through. Regardless though we had such an amazing weekend. Chris was on point as primary parent, which I think was good for both him and the boys, as well as needing to take care of his incapacitated wife. I think everyone had a great time. Skye broke my heart with just what a sweet little boy he is turning out to be. I was laid out on the couch, looking like death warmed over, and Skye was my little helper. He'd bring me stuffed animals, lay a blanket on me, and kept stroking my cheek. It was so sweet. Chris got a photo of Skye snuggled up on the couch with me. It was so sweet.
Forrest continues to grow and develop into such a fun little boy. He has these moments where he'll just run circles through the house screaming out of the pure joy of running. He'll do a pass by, look at me and grin from ear to ear, and continue the lap. Last night me, Forrest & Skye all ran around in circles and cracked up. I can see how these 2 boys are going to be so close.
The other amazing thing we've got going on is Skye is 100% potty trained. Not sure why it was so easy, but it was. He's been dry every morning for close to 10 days. He still wants to wear a diaper at night for the security, but he's totally diaper free the rest of the time - including naps. Speaking of sleep, both my guys have become great sleepers. I can expect to sleep until 6:30 each morning, and both boys are down by 8:00 each night. It's been so nice to know that I'm going to actually get some sleep on a regular basis.
So maybe it wasn't a Thanksgiving weekend that we'd imagined for Skye's first real US holiday, but it was a wonderful weekend for our family of 4. I had a moment earlier this week that struck me as so wonderful. I realized that I couldn't imagine my life without Skye, he really has become my second son. It's pretty amazing. I am grateful for these 2 wonderful sons and such a great husband.
What an amazing thanksgiving we had, even if it was a non-Thanksgiving in the eyes of a traditionalist. We were supposed to go to Grandma Foxley's house (my mom) for dinner, but Wednesday I went down for the count with an awful GI flu, that I'm still working through. Regardless though we had such an amazing weekend. Chris was on point as primary parent, which I think was good for both him and the boys, as well as needing to take care of his incapacitated wife. I think everyone had a great time. Skye broke my heart with just what a sweet little boy he is turning out to be. I was laid out on the couch, looking like death warmed over, and Skye was my little helper. He'd bring me stuffed animals, lay a blanket on me, and kept stroking my cheek. It was so sweet. Chris got a photo of Skye snuggled up on the couch with me. It was so sweet.
Forrest continues to grow and develop into such a fun little boy. He has these moments where he'll just run circles through the house screaming out of the pure joy of running. He'll do a pass by, look at me and grin from ear to ear, and continue the lap. Last night me, Forrest & Skye all ran around in circles and cracked up. I can see how these 2 boys are going to be so close.
The other amazing thing we've got going on is Skye is 100% potty trained. Not sure why it was so easy, but it was. He's been dry every morning for close to 10 days. He still wants to wear a diaper at night for the security, but he's totally diaper free the rest of the time - including naps. Speaking of sleep, both my guys have become great sleepers. I can expect to sleep until 6:30 each morning, and both boys are down by 8:00 each night. It's been so nice to know that I'm going to actually get some sleep on a regular basis.
So maybe it wasn't a Thanksgiving weekend that we'd imagined for Skye's first real US holiday, but it was a wonderful weekend for our family of 4. I had a moment earlier this week that struck me as so wonderful. I realized that I couldn't imagine my life without Skye, he really has become my second son. It's pretty amazing. I am grateful for these 2 wonderful sons and such a great husband.
Monday, November 16, 2009
my kids are amazing
It's been a long year, or so, and suddenly I'm looking at these 2 little humans and wondering who actually trusted me enough to grow 2 new people? You know what it doesn't matter because it's great. I realized the other day that I am truly joyful in my life right now. There were moments last spring and early summer that I was filled with joy, and these last few months have been a mixed bag - some days so wonderful and light and some days as dark as they come. The past 2 weeks though something has shifted across the board and everyone is doing better.
Skye is more and more like a little 2 year old demon, rather than a demon in a 2 year old body! He continues to show such empathy towards his brother. Forrest fell off the bottom stair today and Skye wanted to hold him and make him feel better. Of course he's too little to hold him, but I squatted down next to him and he kissed the back of Forrest's head and then rubbed it. It was sweet enough to bring a tear to my eye.
Last night was a hard one for Skye. He was struggling to go to sleep and when I finally came up, around 9:00, he was still up bouncing around. I got him some water and told him to go to sleep. About 45 minutes later he started to cry and grouse, I was annoyed at:
a) him making all that racket when he needed to go to sleep &
b) why wasn't Chris coming upstairs to get him, since I was trying to catch up on some zzzzz's.
So I came out of our room, calmly but not too happy, said "what do you want?" and then took a look at Skye. He was bug eyed, blood around his mouth and all over his hands. My first thought was - "what the hell did you do to yourself". Then I realized that he had a bloody nose, and it was streaming out of his poor little nose. I brought him downstairs, we stripped off the bloody pj's, and sat him down on the couch to deal with the blood. Chris had to restrain him while I pinched his nose - it just wasn't stopping on his own. Poor thing just freaked out. As soon as we were done (about 2 minutes) he turned to me, wrapped his arms around my neck and held on for all he was worth - little legs all scrunched up like a frog. I rocked him and shushed him, and let him know he was okay, and after about 10 minutes he fell asleep in my arms. He woke up when we put him in his new pj's, but then pointed to the stairs and said "mama" (b/c he can't say cama). We put him down, and of course a few hours later he got another bloody nose and so we put him in bed with us. Damn space heater is the blame. Forrest slept blithely though all this - and of course popped up at 5am! Luckily went back down after a few moments and slept until 6:30.
Funny how my life revolves around the sleep, or lack of sleep I get. It's such an integral part of the equation. Chris was commenting last night that he didn't know how I did it. I looked at him and said "do what", seriously I had no idea. And he answered how I was able to do all the things I do during the day, take care of the kids, and never get more than 7 hours of sleep and night (and pre-baby I was a 9 hour a night girl). My response was, do I have a choice? Seriously, it's just what mom's do, and in a nutshell there was one of the answers of the different between a mom & dad. There is NO way I will ever let Chris get as sleep deprived as we were those first few weeks we had Forrest. I love the man, but he becomes a liability when he doesn't sleep. Ask him sometime about forgetting to put Forrest back in a diaper after changing him b/c he was so tired. It's just interesting to me that he wonders how I do it, and my thought was "what else would I do?"
I turn 40 on Friday, and realized that at this stage I have lived less than half my life. It reminded me that there is so much more time, and so many things that I can still do. Right now my job is to raise these two humans into the best people they can be, after that my focus can go back on me (to an extent). But I am content with my life right now, I look forward to returning to work when the time presents itself, but right now what better job does anyone have than growing a few sons? I am truly blessed.
Skye is more and more like a little 2 year old demon, rather than a demon in a 2 year old body! He continues to show such empathy towards his brother. Forrest fell off the bottom stair today and Skye wanted to hold him and make him feel better. Of course he's too little to hold him, but I squatted down next to him and he kissed the back of Forrest's head and then rubbed it. It was sweet enough to bring a tear to my eye.
Last night was a hard one for Skye. He was struggling to go to sleep and when I finally came up, around 9:00, he was still up bouncing around. I got him some water and told him to go to sleep. About 45 minutes later he started to cry and grouse, I was annoyed at:
a) him making all that racket when he needed to go to sleep &
b) why wasn't Chris coming upstairs to get him, since I was trying to catch up on some zzzzz's.
So I came out of our room, calmly but not too happy, said "what do you want?" and then took a look at Skye. He was bug eyed, blood around his mouth and all over his hands. My first thought was - "what the hell did you do to yourself". Then I realized that he had a bloody nose, and it was streaming out of his poor little nose. I brought him downstairs, we stripped off the bloody pj's, and sat him down on the couch to deal with the blood. Chris had to restrain him while I pinched his nose - it just wasn't stopping on his own. Poor thing just freaked out. As soon as we were done (about 2 minutes) he turned to me, wrapped his arms around my neck and held on for all he was worth - little legs all scrunched up like a frog. I rocked him and shushed him, and let him know he was okay, and after about 10 minutes he fell asleep in my arms. He woke up when we put him in his new pj's, but then pointed to the stairs and said "mama" (b/c he can't say cama). We put him down, and of course a few hours later he got another bloody nose and so we put him in bed with us. Damn space heater is the blame. Forrest slept blithely though all this - and of course popped up at 5am! Luckily went back down after a few moments and slept until 6:30.
Funny how my life revolves around the sleep, or lack of sleep I get. It's such an integral part of the equation. Chris was commenting last night that he didn't know how I did it. I looked at him and said "do what", seriously I had no idea. And he answered how I was able to do all the things I do during the day, take care of the kids, and never get more than 7 hours of sleep and night (and pre-baby I was a 9 hour a night girl). My response was, do I have a choice? Seriously, it's just what mom's do, and in a nutshell there was one of the answers of the different between a mom & dad. There is NO way I will ever let Chris get as sleep deprived as we were those first few weeks we had Forrest. I love the man, but he becomes a liability when he doesn't sleep. Ask him sometime about forgetting to put Forrest back in a diaper after changing him b/c he was so tired. It's just interesting to me that he wonders how I do it, and my thought was "what else would I do?"
I turn 40 on Friday, and realized that at this stage I have lived less than half my life. It reminded me that there is so much more time, and so many things that I can still do. Right now my job is to raise these two humans into the best people they can be, after that my focus can go back on me (to an extent). But I am content with my life right now, I look forward to returning to work when the time presents itself, but right now what better job does anyone have than growing a few sons? I am truly blessed.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
This is the viejita, or old woman. After snuggling on my lap for quite some time, nudie b/c he's decided he's anti clothing right now, he insisted on wearing this blanket like a shawl. The funny thing, was when he came up to me with his hand extended, looking totally pathetic, wanting a hand out. Do we think he's seend immense poverty in his short life? This was one of those times that I am so grateful that I've spent time in Latin America and understand where this is coming from...
Needless to say we've made some amazing headway with Skye in the past few weeks. Not sure what happened, but things are very different. He is acting much more like a "normal" 2 year old, and less like a crazy boy.
I'll get some photos of the walker Forrest soon.
Monday, October 26, 2009
love how my boys are starting to be brothers
Today was a big day for me. I started getting sick and was home with the boys. I always wondered how mom's stayed home when they were sick, now I know. Luckily Skye could figure out that I wasn't feeling well at all and really tried to keep it together. Both boys also decided to take monster naps this afternoon, so I got some real down time.
Skye is finally realizing that
a) Forrest is a baby
b) Forrest is his brother.
He'll find Akbar whenever Forrest starts to get upset and bring him to Forrest. He tries to be nice when Forrest is whacking him in the head. I think he realizes that he's not trying to hurt him b/c he sees Bug clocking me in the head as well. Today though was the sweetest. As the boys were getting ready to take their bath Skye leaned over and gave Forrest a kiss. It was so sweet. Later in the bath Forrest leaned over and gave Skye a kiss. They are really getting super sweet.
Forrest is seriously starting to walk. He cruised across the living room today, and is starting to walk before he gives in and crawls. Soon he'll be a cute little toddler dude.
Skye is finally realizing that
a) Forrest is a baby
b) Forrest is his brother.
He'll find Akbar whenever Forrest starts to get upset and bring him to Forrest. He tries to be nice when Forrest is whacking him in the head. I think he realizes that he's not trying to hurt him b/c he sees Bug clocking me in the head as well. Today though was the sweetest. As the boys were getting ready to take their bath Skye leaned over and gave Forrest a kiss. It was so sweet. Later in the bath Forrest leaned over and gave Skye a kiss. They are really getting super sweet.
Forrest is seriously starting to walk. He cruised across the living room today, and is starting to walk before he gives in and crawls. Soon he'll be a cute little toddler dude.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
vacation #1
So far so good. We are at our family's cabin (well house really) at Black Butte Ranch. Both boys are asleep and Chris and Grandma are reading. We've been here for almost 3 days and Skye has done great. We've had our moments, but for the most part he's as relaxed here as he is at home. We've gone to the pool every day, which is a hoot. I don't think he's ever been in a pool, and freaks out at first and then splashes around. There is this little innertube that I taught him how to float in, and he's pretty comfortable in the water. Unfortunately Forrest has not been able to show off his swimming skills as he's had a snotty cold and the water is too cold. Cold enough that I have to dive off the end to actually get into the pool with Skye. Luckily I still have some extra insulation from carrying Forrest to keep me warm!
There are some things going on with Skye that continue to concern me. I have a deep seeded fear that he was abused in one of the foster homes. I'm not going to go into great detail, but there have been a few things that make me feel like my suspicions are true. There are some fixations that are not developmentally "normal" in a 2 year old, and some actions (and reactions) that aren't "normal" as well. I'll chat with our social worker about it and move on from there. What I will say is that we can get through this as well, and I'm angry. Angry that it took so long to get this little guy here and find out that someone hurt him. It's not fair and it's not right. We got an email from a previous foster family last week and I got pretty steamed. They delivered this little boy so dirty that it took Chris 3 or 4 washes to get the grease out of his hair, smelly nasty clothes, no toys (not even the ones that we'd sent down 6 weeks prior for his birthday) and no extra clothes. This is not how you treat a little boy. I know my job is to move through my anger, and I work on it daily. But when your son is showing signs of abuse, it retriggers it all over again...sigh
Oh and to add to the insanity of our adoption journey (Jennifer you are going to LOVE this!), I get an email from my agency letting me know that they neglected to make copies of the documents for our dossier before they sent it down to Guatemala, and did we happen to have copies so they can close out our file. I'm sorry, what?! Isn't that one of the main things that your adoption agency is supposed to keep track of? All I can say is thank the Lord nothing was lost or damaged in Guatemala or we would have had a HUGE issue. I have copies, somewhere. It made me laugh, in a sad twisted sort of way. I am so grateful that we are done with this process and can just move forward and love on our son.
Forrest is getting very close to walking. He took a few more steps in the kitchen, and then fell down on his booty. He's so funny because he just doesn't care if he walks or not. He can get from point a to point b crawling just fine. I think though once he starts to walk, it's running in a week. That's just kinda how he does things. It will also give him a fighting chance when Skye does mean things to him. Frankly I worry for Skye when Forrest is really able to defend himself. Forrest is going to be so much larger than his "big" brother. We took him in for his 1 year check up, and he's still in the 93rd percentile in height. Weight and head size are much lower, so he's going to be tall and skinny. The one really nice thing about the doctor's visit was Joe telling us how confident Forrest is. That he's unusually confident for a 1 year old. It made me feel good as a mom, that we are doing the right thing for our son to bring him up in the world. As much as I love and squeeze on him, it's also so important to me to help him learn who he is as a person - all in due time of course. He has become such a calm mellow little guy. Yes he screams with gusto when he's frustrated, but he's just as easily and quickly redirected and back to laughing. Joe (our md) also commented on how different Skye is. That he seems so much calmer and confident as well. It felt good to have someone who sees kids all day long really reinforce all the work we are doing. I feel proud when I look at my 2 boys and see such sweetness in them.
Being a mom is pretty dang cool I have to say. I don't think I'll have more than these 2, but they are enough to fill my life with such joy and love. It's pretty dang amazing.
There are some things going on with Skye that continue to concern me. I have a deep seeded fear that he was abused in one of the foster homes. I'm not going to go into great detail, but there have been a few things that make me feel like my suspicions are true. There are some fixations that are not developmentally "normal" in a 2 year old, and some actions (and reactions) that aren't "normal" as well. I'll chat with our social worker about it and move on from there. What I will say is that we can get through this as well, and I'm angry. Angry that it took so long to get this little guy here and find out that someone hurt him. It's not fair and it's not right. We got an email from a previous foster family last week and I got pretty steamed. They delivered this little boy so dirty that it took Chris 3 or 4 washes to get the grease out of his hair, smelly nasty clothes, no toys (not even the ones that we'd sent down 6 weeks prior for his birthday) and no extra clothes. This is not how you treat a little boy. I know my job is to move through my anger, and I work on it daily. But when your son is showing signs of abuse, it retriggers it all over again...sigh
Oh and to add to the insanity of our adoption journey (Jennifer you are going to LOVE this!), I get an email from my agency letting me know that they neglected to make copies of the documents for our dossier before they sent it down to Guatemala, and did we happen to have copies so they can close out our file. I'm sorry, what?! Isn't that one of the main things that your adoption agency is supposed to keep track of? All I can say is thank the Lord nothing was lost or damaged in Guatemala or we would have had a HUGE issue. I have copies, somewhere. It made me laugh, in a sad twisted sort of way. I am so grateful that we are done with this process and can just move forward and love on our son.
Forrest is getting very close to walking. He took a few more steps in the kitchen, and then fell down on his booty. He's so funny because he just doesn't care if he walks or not. He can get from point a to point b crawling just fine. I think though once he starts to walk, it's running in a week. That's just kinda how he does things. It will also give him a fighting chance when Skye does mean things to him. Frankly I worry for Skye when Forrest is really able to defend himself. Forrest is going to be so much larger than his "big" brother. We took him in for his 1 year check up, and he's still in the 93rd percentile in height. Weight and head size are much lower, so he's going to be tall and skinny. The one really nice thing about the doctor's visit was Joe telling us how confident Forrest is. That he's unusually confident for a 1 year old. It made me feel good as a mom, that we are doing the right thing for our son to bring him up in the world. As much as I love and squeeze on him, it's also so important to me to help him learn who he is as a person - all in due time of course. He has become such a calm mellow little guy. Yes he screams with gusto when he's frustrated, but he's just as easily and quickly redirected and back to laughing. Joe (our md) also commented on how different Skye is. That he seems so much calmer and confident as well. It felt good to have someone who sees kids all day long really reinforce all the work we are doing. I feel proud when I look at my 2 boys and see such sweetness in them.
Being a mom is pretty dang cool I have to say. I don't think I'll have more than these 2, but they are enough to fill my life with such joy and love. It's pretty dang amazing.
Friday, October 9, 2009
where's the camera when you need it?
Forrest is asleep for his morning nap and Skye is cracking me up. He's wearing his pj's, socks on his hands (his current fashion statement), and is dancing to the silly music thingy with the big bunny. I tell you, he's a funny little boy! Dinner last night was a crack up. He was being totally goofy and making me laugh and laugh. He's changed so much.
Okay found the camera - dead battery! Oh well...off to watch sesame street!
Okay found the camera - dead battery! Oh well...off to watch sesame street!
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