He's here - WOW!

I am going to try and keep this thing up, but there are no guarantees. Rolling with 2 boys under the age of 3 is going to keep me pretty dang busy. I'm also not going to add pictures since I don't exactly know where they all are right now.

Today is better than yesterday, by a long shot. Yesterday all Skye did was freak out if Chris left his sight, showed either me or Forrest affection, had a limit set (like don't throw food or hit the dog), or I got too close to him. It was rough. There's that internal struggle between what my brain is saying and what my heart is saying. Yes I know it was his first day home and he'd been with Chris for 4 days prior, but as a mom there is something visceral to being rejected by your son. I shed quite a few tears, knowing it was ridiculous but still needing to release all that stress and fear.

Today is another day and little little guy seems to make so many leaps forward. Today I was allowed to hold him, kiss him, cradle him with a bottle (HUGE!!!!) and let him fall asleep in my arms for his nap. I also got to "restrain" him in the basement after he beaned me in the head with a ball, after being told to not throw balls at our faces (in Spanish). It sucked big time, but the pay off was huge. He freaked out, then relaxed, then followed me around. Day by day.

Forrest is stoked to have a new brother. He follows Skye around like a little puppy dog and mimics everything he does. Skye tries with him and does some really amazing things - like brings him "baby" toys - and he also tantrums like a 2 year old when the baby tries to take things from him. Something's telling me this is going to be the story of our lives!

It's a trip to suddenly be the mom of 2, when 10 months ago I was the mom to no one. I just have to remind myself baby steps for all of us. He will grow to love this family and we are not going to throw him out like trash, like has happened to him so many times.

Okay Skye's asleep and I get 1:1 time with F-dude. Off I go to be mama again....

Updates and such

So I've decided that we are going to keep a blog for both our boys. This way family and friends can keep up on how Forrest is growing and where we are in getting Skye home. Because our process has become so frustrating with Skye, I can write the current situation and not have to continue to respond to the same questions. It's not that we, Chris and I, don't love everyone asking about Skye, it's that it's so hard on us.

Forrest has returned from his very first plane trip! He went to Chicago to see his Uncle Sean graduate from University of Chicago with his PhD. It was an interesting trip. Solo mama travel is hard, and then I got sick on top of it which just sucked! and it was FREEZING in chicago on the first day, and cold and rainy the second. Not really baby walking around weather. Forrest was a superstar. My little boy is quite the traveler. He flew so well, only cried as the plane descended back to Portland, and only for about 5 minutes! He nursed in all sorts of funny places - the el, the rockafeller chapel, the chicago business school. He's a superstar.

Skye will unfortunately be spending his second Christmas still in Guatemala. He was kicked out of the PGN (the guatemalan attorney general's office) for the third time about 10 days ago. Apparently there is a mistake on the affidavit of the birth mom. sigh....Sometimes I wonder if he'll ever make it home. It's so hard to have faith, when every time we turn around he's still not here.

I'll post more soon.

Shannon